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About Me

D/O/B: 1-6-85, Mother to Joseph born February 15th, 2005
Location: Billerica, Massachusetts
My interests include LOST, shopping, animals, the beach, and my son. I like to travel and make jewelry and obsess over perfection and physical beauty.

I'm only a woman
Of flesh and bone
and I wept much
we all do
I thought I might die alone.
but I had never met you
so baby be good to me
I have nothing to give you you see
except everything, everything, everything, everything
all the good and the bad
cause I've been bad
I've lied, cheated, stolen and been ungrateful for what I have.
And I'm afraid habits rule my waking life
I'm scared
And I'm running in my sleep
For you
But all of the oceans and rivers and showers will wash it all away
and make me clean for you
Cause I had never met you

So let's take a loan out
Put it down on a house
In a place we've never lived.
In a place that exists
in the pages of scripts and
in the songs that they sing
And all of the beautiful things
that will make you weep
but they don't have to make you weak

Cuz I've never loved somebody
the way that I loved you

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Still here? [
January 27th, 2006 at 8:20am]
Is there anyone over here who hasn't switched over to my "new" journal yet? It's been a LONG time since I updated this one. I forgot I deleted it. I just had to activate it again to make this entry.

Anyway a lot has happened. Well, depending on how you look at it. A lot has happened with Joseph. You see, he'll be a year old next month! It's so strange to look back at pictures of him from when he was a week old and tiny and red faced. All he did was sleep! At that time I thought it was all great and everyone kept saying "cherish it now because they grow so fast". It never really sinks in though, until they're almost a year old and you think back and wish they could have just stayed that little forever.

Not that he's not a total blast. He crawls around so fast, he laughs a lot and he's standing and all that. I just took him to have his pictures done at The Picture People. They came out great! If anyone wants the link to view them just leave your e-mail address and I'll send you the invite.

I'm on Myspace now (so is Joseph), and if you want to go to that it's www.myspace.com/jenntel

I passed an ATB test at Blaine yesterday (passed? More like I kicked that test's ass :) ) and I start classes in April. I'm taking Esthetics. It sucks that I have to wait, because I had hoped to start in February.

I'm still very single. I wouldn't have it any other way. Unfortunately, I did attempt to go on a few dates with this very nice young man over the course o the last 4 months. I didn't even realize they counted as real "dates" until he was starting to get all serious and talk about where we were "heading". Honestly I'm not wanting to "head" anywhere with anyone. It was nice to get out a couple times a month and have dinner and some nice conversation but anything more than that just isn't for me right now.

I kept telling him that but it just wasn't registering and he was starting to imply that he wanted to have sex. I admit, I handled the whole thing badly. I don't like having to reject or hurt anyone. So instead of just saying "look, it's not going to happen." like I should have done, I sort of drove him away by talking about looking for a "soul mate" and wanting to get married. When that didn't work (he actually seemed interested!) I pulled the "Oh, I'm going to be celibate until marriage" route. Which isn't exactly a lie, but it's not really something I've been preaching about either. That did it. He "I don't think we connect"ed me. So I got what I wanted without having to hurt anyone's feelings. I know that's stupid and immature of me. I really have to work on being more direct and not giving a shit about feelings, because I can't even tell you how many times being "nice" has gotten me into trouble.

I've found my friend Sara again, and we had planned to see each other every 6 months. She as going to fly out here with her son for Joseph's birthday but then she got fired. Then I planned on flying out to California in August for HER son's birthday (and to visit my aunt who's an esthetician and promised to teach me bikini waxing and take me to esthology shows) but I really don't want to take the time off of Blaine, so I'll probably just wait until I graduate to fly out there.

Oh the cruise was great if anyone was wondering! God those islands are beautiful and the baby loved the beach water! It was like a big bath so warm! He loved all the food too. He had ribs haha. You should have seen his face, all covered in sauce. Eventually I'll take him on another cruise. Maybe next year after I take him to California. Plus my parents want to take him to Disneyworld. I hope he likes planes...haha

Anyway, if any of you want to switch over to my main journal I'll happily add you. For now I'm going to go watch Jo Jo's Circus with my son :)
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March 14th, 2005 at 11:53am]
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